I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
