I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
