Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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