"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
