so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
