Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
