I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
