Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
