that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
