She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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