I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
ttyl tear gas
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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