Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I enjoy the company of your penis
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
