There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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