If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
