he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
the night ended with taco bell and tears
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
