How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
