I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
