i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
