My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
