I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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