This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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