glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
