Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
