So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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