he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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