I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
