and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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