In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
