My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize