i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We are all done wearing pants today
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize