It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
No subtext here. People are naked.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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