Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He better not be in your backpack
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
