On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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