so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
