If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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