I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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