if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
