I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
