Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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