Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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