Sponge bath it is.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
