Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
