you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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