At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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