What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
