She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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