what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
