Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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