I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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