Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
