Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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