her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
