Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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