I'm drive I can fine osifer
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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