how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize