Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
