winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
