aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
