woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
