Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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