I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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