i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
