Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
