your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
