HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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