Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
