that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
