Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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