high people should be assigned attendants
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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