she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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