I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
