Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
