She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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