I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
