TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
