I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
