i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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