Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
