So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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