Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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