Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
